Life

How to make a memorable Valentine’s Day…..my Farmers way.

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? This “day of love“? I do, I always have, and I love it. But then, I will celebrate most any holiday. Mostly because I love any reason to celebrate. I like to be happy and celebrating makes me happy. My Farmer…..well, he’s not so much into celebrating. But I’m working on changing that. It’s a work in progress. Going on almost 40 years now….it’s a longgg work in progress. But you know, I think I’m gaining.

As I said, my Farmer is not real big on celebrating holidays, and he really isn’t the romantic type. Through the years, Valentine’s day is pretty much just another day in his book. He will buy me a card. Which I do love cards. His cards are always beautiful, meaningful ones, so I know he spends time looking for the right one. Many years, my Farmer is was so busy farming, he doesn’t didn’t have time to run to town to buy a card or gift and I completely understand that. Well, early in our marriage, maybe I didn’t really understand it. Now that I am older and look back, I do understand it….kind of. (wink wink) After all, it is a 10 minute drive to town. (yes I am being sarcastic)

valentine rose
Valentine Rose

In all the 40+ years that I have been with my Farmer, I have 2 very memorable Valentine days that stand out. Oh wait…..as I think about it, maybe there is a third one. Before we were married, he gave me a heart shaped cake. I’ve always mostly credited his mom for that one though. After all, she baked the cake and decorated it. He did deliver it to me though, so I suppose he does deserve some credit.

The first real, memorable Valentine’s day, that my Farmer gets full credit for, was after we had been married well over 15 years. It was the first time, and the only time, my Farmer ever gave me a bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s day. It thrilled me so much. I felt that I was finally like everyone else in the world, I received flowers at my workplace on Valentine’s day. When my Farmer walked into my office that day, with a bouquet of flowers, I went over the top with excitement. Probably a bit to excited. I was really kind of in shock. My first reaction was probably….”Why did you buy me flowers? Did you do something you are trying to make up for?” or “Who helped you buy the flowers?” See, I really am terrible. Hopefully I didn’t say those things out loud!

My Farmer really did make me happy that day. I did tell him through out the years, quite frequently, evidently, how wonderful he made me feel that day. That one, little tiny act. Yes, it was a hint. Did he catch on? No. Not for another 15 years. Which leads to my next really memorable Valentine’s day, and the reason I feel we are gaining at this celebrating thing.

It was about 7 years ago. My Farmer had been away visiting our son for a few days, just before Valentine’s day, and I stayed home to watch over the farm. While my Farmer was there visiting, he bought me a valentine’s gift. Which, as I said before, when he had time, he would usually buy me at least a card. Come Valentine’s day morning, when I got up, there was a little stuffed animal, a coffee cup, and a card sitting on the table. My Farmer had thought about me and bought me 3 things! I was pretty excited that he remember and was “celebrating” the day. What I didn’t know at the time, was that there was more.

teddy bear and heart
teddy bear with heart

When we went to feed cows that evening, I climbed into my tractor, and there on the seat of my tractor, was a silk rose and another card. I almost cried. Wow! Once again, I was in shock. I jumped down out of my tractor and gave my Farmer the biggest hug ever! Then he told me that he remembered me telling him over and over and over, I guess I over did it a bit, that the best thing he had done was deliver flowers to my work place, that one time. Since I no longer had an off the farm job, and the tractor was now my main work place, he put the rose there. Double WOW. My Farmer had just won my heart all over again.

If my Farmer never gets me another Valentine’s gift for the rest of my life, I am totally fine with that. He did good on that one Valentine’s day. To this day, that rose is still in my tractor. It’s a bit faded, but not to me. It’s still as beautiful as the day he put it in there.

rose in tractor
Actual rose from my Farmer still in my tractor

So see! I think I am gaining. He can celebrate the holiday and be a bit romantic. Just not very often.

So to answer the question of how to make Valentine’s Day a memorable on, my Farmers way is this……. Give a gift every 15th year and make it meaningful. My Farmer has told me that if he gave me flowers for every Valentine’s day, I would not appreciate them as much. Which is true. When I get flowers every 15th year, I do very much appreciate it.

Yet, is it really the gift, the money spent, or the card that counts? Not to me. To me, it’s the act. To know that my Farmer went through the effort, took time out of his busy schedule, to do one small act, to make me feel loved. It makes me feel celebrated. One small act to let me know that he cares. That he thought about me. That means a lot.

Don’t get me wrong, I like gifts. I’ll still take flowers, a box of chocolate, dinner out, maid service for a day, a vacation in Hawaii, a diamond necklace, or even a new shiny car. After all, any one of those items would take some fore thought and action. I really will appreciate it AND feel very loved!

So see, I think we are gaining. A rose left in my tractor, in my book, was a romantic act and he was celebrating Valentine’s day. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with next. Since my Farmer does seem to have a routine, a special surprise every 15 years, I know I have a few years to go. I’ll wait. I’m good with a card for now, or if he doesn’t have time, a hug and an I love you absolutely works.

I’m thinking that I probably better get started reminding him of those 2 thoughtful Valentine’s gifts, though, and how happy they made me feel. After all, I’m sure he doesn’t want to forget. He would not like me to be disappointed. I’m sure he wants me to be happy and continue to feel that I am Livin’ the life.

I’m here Livin’ the Life, the Farm Life that is…..dreaming about my next romantic Valentine’s day when my Farmer decides to celebrate big. This year wasn’t it.

5 Comments

  • Michelle

    I like how you are kept on your toes. Is something going to come this year? That makes it a bit more exciting. And you do know that one year he will go out. That makes it romantic to me.

  • April Key C. Rode

    I read about this religious writer from a religious magazine that her husband is the same. So what she did she will buy her own and not expect anything from hubby to buy her one. I kinda follow it because my hubby is the same. He doesn’t like all this holiday celebration. For him, it is just a way for people to spend money on. Valentine is a big thing to me since I was a child and I love celebrating it. I always celebrate it with family and friends. Even though we had our church wedding anniversary on Valentines’ Day it is a family celebration to me and for my hubby, it is one of our second wedding anniversary that needs to be cherished. Let’s hope that one day another Valentine’s Day he will surprise you again.

  • Eva

    Sometimes hubby and I exchange nice things for Vday; other times we just give each other a verbal Happy V day wish. We show each other every, single day how much we love and appreciate the other, so in a way, every day is VDay at our house.

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