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Ag Ed 101,  Farming

My Farmer, My Hero

July 22, 2019 /

OH MAN!! I had an “incident” happen to me this week that reminded me that there is no way I could ever farm this place on my own. Nope. NO. WAY. Here’s what happened.

My job was to start the short wheel line by my house. It partly waters my yard so it benefits me, so I’m good with doing this job. What it entails is, moving the wheel line into place, hooking up the hose to the wheel line pipe, hooking up the other end of the hose to the outlet valve, and turning the water one. Easy peasy. I’ve done it many times. One important thing to remember when doing this, is to make sure that the clamp that fastens the outlet value to the outlet stand pipe is fastened. I did this. At least I thought I did. Evidently, I did not look close enough. I turned the water on, just a little, and KABOOM!! The value came off and water went spraying everywhere! And I mean everywhere. I’m talking a lot of volume. I’m talking a lot of pressure. I’m talking a lot of water. The water was spraying at least 30 feet in a circle and 20 feet high. I, of course, was standing next to the valve when it blew. I was a drowned rat. This is were a picture should be inserted but nope….didn’t take a picture.

I have had this happen before. The first thing you think of, after you have ran away from the spraying water, is “turn the water off!”. The only way to shut the water off is on that stand pipe. That is in the middle of the water spraying 40 feet in every direction, 30 feet in the air and has enough pressure to knock over a tree. Ok, a small tree. But it sure feels like it could knock over a big tree. As I said, this has happened to me before, so I know what needs done. I know you take a wrench, dive into the middle of the water that is spraying 50 feet around everywhere, 40 feet up in the air, has enough power to knock down a building, and turn the valve stem. (I have issues here too, because once I am in there I never can remember which way to turn it off! Thank goodness my brother-in-law taught me the “Righty tighty, lefty loosy” saying.) I know what also happens when you dive in to do this. You get drenched. More then you already are. It’s hard to see what you are doing when you are getting hit in the face with spraying water, powerful enough to do strip mining, and you can’t remember which way is right! (Don’t judge me here! It’s hard under pressure!)

It’s not a fast process. It’s not a “I’m livin’ the life!” moment. Believe me! My problem with this incident, unlike the other times it has happened, was that the outlet value did not blow all the way off. It was still stuck partially on. Which meant I could not get a wrench on the valve stem to shut it off. If I knocked it off, that is if I could, there was a good chance that it would fly up and hit me in the head. That wouldn’t be good. I don’t like pain. So there I stood, in the field, drenched like a drowned rat, watching water spraying 60 feet in every direction, and 50 feet up in the air, with enough pressure to move a mountain, with a wrench in my hand. To make things even better, I was right by the county road so everyone driving by could see. Of course, right!?!

As I’m standing there dripping wet from head to toe, with a wrench in my hand, knowing what I need to do, but not wanting to do what I need to do and trying to decide how to do what i know I need to do, I see my Farmer heading my way. I’m sure he seen the water spraying 70 feet everywhere and 60 feet in the air. Thank goodness! He drives into the field and I am so relieved to have help. Then he keeps on driving past me. What the hell!?! Really?!? I was starting to not like my Farmer at this point. He finally stops and I realize what he is doing. He goes to the house and comes back out to rescue me….dressed for the job. He has on his irrigation boots, his irrigation bib pants, and his heavy coat. He too, has done this before. He dives into the spraying water, pushes the outlet valve back on and shuts the water off. Just like that. He’s my hero. (it’s ok to tell him I said this. I did) This is why I say I could not do this farming thing without him. There is no way I would have the strength to push the valve back down onto the stand pipe. No way. Not with the amount of pressure that the water is coming out of that pipe with. No teasing here, there really is a lot of pressure.

After he gets the wheel line running, he takes off his outfit, and his clothes are not wet at all. He’s a pro. He goes back to work. No big deal for him. He did ask if I was hurt. That was nice I thought. As for me, I was done for the day. I was not hurt, well maybe my ego, but I was still soaking wet and the whole event was a big deal for me. I stripped off my wet clothes at the back door, grab a beer from the fridge (yes, I wanted to grab the bottle of whiskey, but thought that might be a bit much), and headed for the tub. It was time to let “>Calgon time. (Did you know you can still by wheel line

Wheel line that I was trying to get water into.
outlet valve
The Outlet valve that came undone. Notice the clamp. That MUST be clamped shut!
drenched clothes
Drenched clothes left at the back door. Why no irrigation boots? It was suppose to be an “fast and easy” job. Never Hurry!!
little sprinkler
This picture is for comparison. When the outlet valve comes off, the water coming out looks like this nice, gently spraying water sprinkler….only 100 times more intense! Or MORE!! If you look at the picture, you can see my driveway. The water was spraying way past the driveway.
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