Cattle,  Life

Don’t squat with your spurs on…or without looking around!

June 19, 2019 /

Squatting. I guess for some women, this is not something done on a regular basis. Or ever, I suppose for some. Maybe when you’re camping or hiking and not close to a toilet you will squat. When you work on a farm or ranch you may squat a bit more often then the average female.

Reasons. Why I squat more often. Some days it’s a long ways back to the house. Some days you can’t stop what you’re doing in order to head to the house. Some days there is just not enough time to get to the house, I’m talking control here. This seems to be more of a problem the older I get. I’m ok with squatting. I really don’t have a problem with it. However, there are a few issues I have came across that are a problem when it comes to squatting. The biggest issue being WHERE.

The Spot. Look down before you squat. It is not the most pleasant feeling when you are squatting and you suddenly notice the ground under you is moving or crawling and you realize you are hovering over an ant pile. Not good. Depending on the color and the size of the ant, is how fast you finish. I suppose discovering you are hovering over a bee hive would be way worst. I haven’t done that…yet.

ant pile
This is an ant pile in my yard. This is how big it feels when you find yourself squatting over an ant pile, even though it’s not even close. haha

Privacy. Look around before you squat. We have houses and roads all around the outskirts of our farm. When we were growing potatoes, I drove the trucks under the digger so I was out in the field almost all day for 2 to 3 weeks. I had to get real creative at hiding to squat so no one could see me. Under the digger, between the truck and tractor, between the duals of the truck, you get the picture, creative. You would think that it’s safe if you are in the middle of a field, say 1/4 mile from a house or road, nobody should be able to see. However, I always worry that the neighbors may have binoculars at their windows, like I do. There are a few draws in our fields here and there where no one can see me, and I am thankful for them, they are a life saver at times. However, I do have to look up, as we are in the flight path of our local airport. They may be able to see me in the draws, but I do not know this. I will keep thinking they can’t tell what I’m doing.

overlook of draw
An Overlook of one of the draws on the farm.

Cameras. Really look around before you squat. This is a new issue. Who would have ever thought, that out in our fields, I would have to think about cameras. My Farmer had told me about a camera that was set up on a neighboring fence pointing in our fields direction. I have no idea why, but it is. It’s in a creek area, where there’s some wildlife activity, so they may be trying to get some wildlife photos. Who knows. I had not seen it before. Anyways, we found a sick calf in this area. My Farmer left to go get some meds and fix him a bottle of milk and my job was to walk the little guy out of the swamp and towards the next field. He was to weak to go very far and at this point I had to pee. So while I was letting him rest, I decided to take a squat. I was in a deep draw, no houses or roads in sight, so I figured I was good to go (literally, haha). I squatted. It was a beautiful spot. The creek was running not to far from me, birds were singing, the sun was shinning….I was surrounded by natures beauty and I was taking it all in as I was there squatting. As I stood up, I thought I heard an ATV coming over the hill from behind me, so I turn around to the other direction, as I was pulling up my pants. (I do have a tendency to be paranoid when I am in this position 😉 ) Nope, no one was approaching. Then it dawned on me that this was the area my Farmer had told me the camera was. I turn back around and sure enough, there was the camera. It would have been no big deal if I had not turned around, however I did and I gave the camera a full on moon. Oh well, when ya gotta go ya gotta go. That’s how it goes when you are Livin’ the Life, the Farm Life that is…

I would love for you to leave me a comment. Have you been caught on camera unknowingly?? Do you have any squatting stories? If so, I would love to hear about them!

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35 Comments

  • Mary Bair

    June 21, 2019 at 11:23 am Reply

    Once on a trip to Bend Oregon I had a little too much water to drink and as you know that road goes on and on without many places to pull over for us females. I couldn’t wait…just couldn’t so I had to get creative. I knew if I squatted someone would see my backside so I sat with the passengers door open and the back passenger door open and so between the two I sat on the edge of the door jam just so and wahla it worked. 🤓

  • Suzan

    June 21, 2019 at 12:40 pm Reply

    This made me LOL!! Why? Because I too am a squatter 🙂 It all began 15 years ago when we lived in a popup camper for 6 months while building our homestead. Dave’s (the rented porta-potty) was located just too far away for those middle of the night calls, LOL. Fortunately, there were no cameras…that I know of anyway.

  • Holly Bird

    June 21, 2019 at 1:32 pm Reply

    Thanks for this great post, it is informative, and truly funny, when I use to race keyhole, and barrels I never thought about it..but this is so true!! gave me a big smile and a lot of memories! Thanks!

  • Lina

    June 22, 2019 at 6:48 am Reply

    Love this! I have had to squat many times and so interesting. Out hiking or camping. Love your tips especially looking down at where you are squatting.

  • Kendra

    June 22, 2019 at 10:14 am Reply

    Lol. I love this post so much. I can relate to trying to find privacy and the ants/insects while camping for sure. I’ve definitely unintentionally mooned people before in the woods. Haha

  • Laura Lee

    June 22, 2019 at 12:20 pm Reply

    This is soooo interesting to me because I’m going on a 314 mile race with my sister next month – we have 10 days to complete it and we’ll be squatting a lot! I’m not looking forward to it, but it is what it is. Wish me luck!

  • Pauline

    June 24, 2019 at 9:57 pm Reply

    Oh my. I have done this, I was down by the creek and forgot about the neighbors game can. He called a few days later and gently reminded me it was there.

  • T.M. Brown

    June 25, 2019 at 2:15 pm Reply

    Ummm…..I have to be honest and say that I’m pretty glad I haven’t had to encounter an issue like this and hope I never do. Glad you know your way around it, though! Great tips for someone who works out in a field or is out camping or hiking.

  • Cindy Garber

    July 20, 2019 at 3:31 pm Reply

    Early one wintry day, half way through my paper route, the urgency of a squat came on me. I seldom met a car those mornings My route started at around four AM. I pulled behind a snow bank and took “the position”, facing my back bumper.” Ahhh”, and of course that sigh was immediately followed by the sound of an approaching vehicle. All I could do was pull my coat over my head, make sure my vehicle license didn’t show, and freeze in that uncomfortable squat until the car, driving very slowly now, passed by. I often have pondered over the past 39 years, who saw, laughed, and never divulged what they witnessed as their headlights hit that ” full moon”.

    • admin

      July 21, 2019 at 10:55 pm Reply

      THANK YOU for sharing that Cindy!!! That is hilarious! I can totally picture you “squatting” like that! Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

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